Kabaka Waba Kabaka (King of Kings)

Hello everyone.  I hope and pray this post finds you doing well wherever life has taken you.  I just went back and looked and I can’t believe that I’ve only posted twice since I’ve been in Uganda.  It feels like so many more than that.  But to fill you all in on a few things I am going to put up a few of my journal entries as well as add a few other things that I think you should know about.

June 14<sup>th


Alex</sup>

Alex was the name of our driver today and yesterday.  I met him yesterday, but didn’t truly get to know him until today.  I had a connection with him since the moment I got on the van this morning.  The Lord was already moving.  He knows very little English so we only spoke a little bit on the way to House 1, but by then we had a few jokes to make both of us laugh.  He drove us the rest of the day and we laughed and carried on a few very short conversations.  We had field day today out at the pitch (field) at Rays of Hope and it was an absolute downpour.  At first I was freezing and trying to hide under a tree, but then we all decided just to go for it and we ran around in the mud and played soccer in the rain; one of the best field days thus far.  He came with us to House 3 for lunch after the downpour.  We all ate together and then decided to have a time of worship.  I could feel the Lord tugging at my heart to pray for him and to speak to him.  Christina was already talking with him when I got over there, but as soon as I sat down I was overwhelmed with emotion to the point of tears.  I had to walk away and collect myself.  When I came back they were reading the bible and Auntie Dorah was translating.  The music was still playing so by the end he had asked me for some music.  I’m going to make him a CD with some of the best worship music I have.  I feel led to continue praying for him and I know the Lord placed the desire for him to know the Lord in my heart.  I want it so badly for him.  I’ve never felt this way about someone’s salvation until today.  He told me he loved me when he dropped us off this afternoon.

June 30^th

Thankful

Thankful for where I am currently.  Thankful for this opportunity.  Thankful for Sozo’s mission.  For God’s goodness.  For His sweet truth.  Thankful for these amazing kids.  For joy, and hope, and salvation in Christ.  For freedom.  Thankful for friends both old and new.  For family.  For comfort and grace.  Thankful for laughter and smiles.  For Daudi and Samuel’s dance moves.  For Wilson’s quiet spirit.  For Ronnie’s sweet heart.  Thankful for Auntie Dorah’s devotion.  For the never failing, unending love that can only come from one being.  Jesus.  Thankful.

July 14^th

21 Days Left

It’s hard to believe that today marks 3 weeks left in Uganda.  It amazes me how fast time here flew by.  Last time I wrote I was still living with Joel, Dorah, and the 4 boys at House 3.  I’ve since moved back to House 1 and being around other mzungu males has been more of a blessing than I ever thought.  Mason, Colby and Allen have been so encouraging to be around since I’ve moved here.  So many good conversations have sparked while here and I’ve been able to see so much growth.  Of course I love being around Esau.  There really is just something special about that kid.  I started a study on the book of James with him and Ibrah.  It is so encouraging and so humbling to see and hear just how much these kids know about the bible.  They challenge me to grow.  Esau has so much wisdom.  He asked me to read a children’s book on the story of Moses and that he would ask me questions about it when I finished.  I got so many wrong.  He knew every detail, down to the name of Moses’ sister.  When we finished I told him that I thought he knew more about the bible than I did even though I’m almost 10 years older.  He looked at me with the most serious face and said, “Do not talk like that.  By you saying that it means you don’t want to learn more.  If someone is asleep than you can go right past them and learn more.  So don’t think of yourself as asleep because you are awake.”  Excuse me?  WHAT?! So much wisdom in the body of a 13 year old.  I’ve learned so much from him and I pray the Lord uses me in some way to teach him.  Mason and I have had many conversations since the beginning of the summer about living together in Alabama once we get back from Africa.  But the more I pray about it the more I believe the Lord is calling me to move back to Wilmington.  I want Scotts Hill to get involved with Sozo.  So badly do I want that.  And though I hear of many things that I will be missing out on in Birmingham with everyone I have a sort of peace about the whole situation.  I am in His hands and He is guiding me and leading this journey.  While I still struggle with uncertainty in some areas of my life, I am confident in the power of the Lord and can trust in His faithfulness.  I feel as if the Lord is giving me more clarity. 

“And one day when the sky rolls back on us, and some rejoice and the others fuss, cause every knee must bow and tongue confess, the Son of God is forever blessed.  This is the Kingdom and we’re the guests so put your voice up to the test, sing ‘Lord come soon.’”

                                                                                    Josh Garrels

                                                                                    Farther Along

“Would he thank the servant because he did what he was told to do?  So you also, when you have done everything you were told to do, should say, ‘We are unworthy servants; we have only done our duty.’”

                                                                                    Luke 17:9-10

“For in this hope we were saved.  But hope that is seen is no hope at all.  Who hopes for what he already has?  But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently.”

                                                                                    Romans 8:24-25

Journal

March 29, 2012

RECAP:

I wanted to write this journal entry as a sort of recap of stories of things that have gone on thus far at House 2.  Today is day four and it already feels like a month has gone by, but in a good way.  We have done so many things to fill up our time here and it involves so much walking.  We have spent a lot of time “being still” here at the house in the beginning because we haven’t started our exact schedule yet.  I really want to sell my car though and just use a bicycle when I get home, but we’ll see if I feel the same when the time comes.  We have walked to our local store/market a few times, walked with Uncle Francis to get milk (which was 8km), walked to the paper mill, and almost 4 or 5 days a week we walk to Entebbe Road, uphill both ways, to catch taxis.  We learned today how to catch a taxi by ourselves.  I felt like a true Ugandan.

This was a journal entry that I wrote just to encompass what went on the few days after I posted my last blog.  Like I said in my previous blog, I find it much simpler and more meaningful if I add some of my journal entries to my blog so you can truly feel what I am experiencing in the moment.

June 1, 2012

Washed by the Water

The past two days we have spent a majority of our day at Rays of Hope.  Rays is a school that Joel, the house dad for House 3, runs with his mother.  There are about 300 kids from ages of 4 to 18 going to school there.  We spent the day Wednesday serving breakfast and lunch, teaching classes, moving sand for a project on site, and loving on the kids.  This place truly has no words that can describe it.  Desperate is the only word that comes to mind.  It is in the slum of Kabalagala and the land area is maybe the size of our beach house, if even that.  These kids either have families in the slums, some just outside the slum, or still some who are orphaned.  We met a deaf boy named George who Joel allows to come to school because he has nowhere else to go.  Joel says that he runs around the slum and hides at night so he can survive.  Because of his disability his family has disowned him and even though he has nowhere to go and no family and is deaf he has so much joy.  It is indescribable to see the smile on his face every time I walk into Rays of Hope.  On Thursday we spent the day serving breakfast and then put on a huge Field Day for the older kids.  We had relay races, some played soccer, and the kids loved the giant parachutes we brought.  It was a lot of fun and the Muzungus (“white people”) got more competitive during the races than the kids did.  Last thing I forgot to write about that happened Wednesday at Rays of Hope.  As I was washing dishes from lunch my hands got really dirty from moving the giant, heavy, metal pots for washing in the dirt.  One little boy saw my hands and how dirty they were, grabbed a cup full of water and washed my hands.  One of the most humbling experiences to stand there and watch this boy who was probably 10 years old continue to pour the little water he had on my hands and rub them for me until they were clean again.  It almost brought me to tears.

This journal entry taught me so much about the Lord’s design for us to continually grow and to use some of the most humbling situations we can even think of.  He has designed our lives and our journeys alongside of our Creator to always allow for divine interruptions.  I never expected this kid to come and humble me to the point of tears, but this interruption has taught me so much about the character of our Lord and how He so much desires us to be like Him. 

June 4, 2012

Worship through…

Song   Dance   Prayer   Stillness     Humility   Thankfulness   Encouragement   Attitude

Last night we had a family night worship session and I think it was just what most of us needed.  I know I did.  It had been a while since the last time I truly worshipped our Lord outside of church.  It felt so good to completely humble myself before His feet and His throne and abandon everything just to worship.  His presence was readily available because He knew we need Him. During worship I couldn’t stop thinking about Detour and the kids and leaders there.  Then this morning Lee, Blake, Ryan, Carly, and Zack came to my mind.  I’m not sure if this was the Lord’s way of telling me to pray for them or if was something more.  Either way Lord, continue moving in each of them.  I’m so thankful.

June 6, 2012

Skype: a missionary’s link to Home

I was able to Skype with Ryan tonight and even though it was for only 15 minutes, just the small link to home and the chance to talk with a best friend was worth every minute.  Ryan has grown to be such an incredible friend and more of a best friend over the past year or so.  I’m amazed by the way God worked through the both of us to bring us together.  His divine purpose and timing are unmatchable.

Lord,

Thank you so much for Ryan and the utter joy he brings to my life.  I’m blown away by His faithfulness.  Lord continue preparing him for August and his future.

June 10, 2012

All Things NEW

Although I have been living here for over three weeks now, new things continue to arise.  Problems.  Situations.  Experiences.  Mercies.  Opportunities.  Desires.  Everyday is an adventure and even though the Lord is always constant He always provides new areas for growth.  We have our first team here, living and working alongside of us.  I’ve had to have tough conversations with my family here about living out a good representation of Christ and being respectful of our elders.  More thoughts about the future.  Continued struggle brought back into existence. Many new and trying things have occurred over the past few days.  But good new things too.  Our first movie night with the kids.  First team.  Josh said I could be his dad while he was here.  Opportunities to connect with high school students.  Continued growth and investment with Esau.  Growth with Gilbert.  Soccer match: House 1 vs. House 2…we won.

Father,

I pray you continue making all things new.  Lord continue renewing my heart and body.  I am yours.  Use me.  Mold me.  Make me clean.  Pour your spirit upon me.  Give me the desire to grow in intimacy with you.  Thank you for your love, for your grace and mercy, for your death on a cross for me and ALL others.  Make that a reality in my heart.  May I understand the importance of spreading Your truth.  Thank you for the opportunities you have given me and will give.  Thank you for the impact you’ve made.  I love you with all of me.

The Lord has blown me away since the last time I’ve posted with His faithfulness, His opportunities to be still, and His love for me displayed throughout all His truth.  I am so thankful for all that I’ve experienced and I hope and pray that each one of you will get to experience the Lord in ways you’ve never imagined. 

“On hearing this, Jesus said to them, ‘It is not the healthy who need a doctor but the sick.  I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners.”

                                                                                    Mark 2:17

“Jesus replied, ‘I tell you the truth, if you have faith and do not doubt, not only can you do what was done to the fig tree, but you can say to this mountain, ‘Go, throw yourself into the sea,’ and it will be done.  If you believe, you will receive whatever you ask for in prayer.”

                                                                                    Matthew 21:21-22

Abundance

Uganda.

It’s already been a week since traveling has started and my adventure in Uganda has begun.  So much has happened.  29 hours of travel through car, plane, tram, bus, and taxi.  The guy next to me on the plane got thrown up on.  I became family with all of the interns before the first flight even finished.  We arrived in Uganda around 10pm and didn’t leave the airport until after 12am waiting on our van to arrive.  Welcome to the Ugandan time schedule.  They have no sense of time here, which has been quite an adjustment.  It’s not a negative thing, but more of an opportunity to be in the moment.  We don’t have to worry about going and going without the chance to relax.  Now we have figured out to expect a delay, except for certain situations, which gives us more time to be intimate with the Lord. 

We have played with the kids from House 1.  I’ve already fallen in love with them.  Just like you said Carly.  Esau is the man of the house, he is 13, and holds a special place in my heart already.  He is such a good dancer.  Gilbert is now boarding so he doesn’t live here so I haven’t had the chance to meet/dance with him yet, but that’s not going to stop me.  We have 24 kids here at House 1 and it has been such a joy getting to know each one of them more and more since I’ve been here.  Ivan, Brian, Esau, Michael, Dennis, Weswa, Julius, Jingo, Eddy, Ronald, and Ibrah are the boys.  The girls are Fatumah, Doreen, Norah, Vanita, Gladys, Jalia, Fredah, Sharon, Debrah, Mercy, Vicky, and Vivian.  The kids here have given me the name Magumba and it has definitely stuck.  It means “bones” and I don’t have the slightest idea of why it was given to me.  They all call me Uncle Magumba.  Uncle and Auntie are the names that give to all of the interns and staff here in Uganda.  It is proper culture for an elder to be addressed as Uncle or Auntie, unless they are related and then they are Baba, or Papa, or Momma.

This journey has done nothing short of amaze me in ways I never expected.  The Lord’s favor has rested upon me and I’m completely humbled by His goodness.  He has met me here every morning and has provided me with blessings I never could’ve asked for.  I’ve grown closer with all of the interns and especially Dixon.  He is the only other male intern here at the moment; we are getting another guy halfway through the summer.  The internship is set up that there are 5 of us staying the entire summer, 8 leaving halfway through, and 4 more coming on in the middle.  I’ve been blown away by the love that these interns have for the Lord.  They never cease to proclaim His name as truth and are always expectant and waiting upon the Lord.  I’ve been encouraged to constantly pursue my relationship with the Lord and always look for opportunities to worship Him.  Creation has been a major link to the Lord for me since I’ve been here and I’m so thankful for His promise of new mercies every single day.

Allen, our leader here, and also my roommate in the states, has been absolutely incredible here.  The Lord has provided me with a newfound love for him and I don’t even have the words to explain my thankfulness for him being here.  Observing him in his element encourages me to be present where I am and never let a moment go by that I’m not grateful for the Lord’s blessings and provision over my life.  “My One Word” while I’m here is “stillness” and has been since the beginning of the year, and it is incredible to see how the Lord presents me with opportunities to practice stillness and waiting upon Him while I’ve been here.  While here we have been separated into groups of 4 interns that we will be moving with from home to home and within our groups we have also been asked to pick “One Word” for this summer.  We came up with Overflow.  Which is fitting for those of you who are in Wilmington and go to Overflow.  We’ve based it off of Romans 15:13 and 1 Thessalonians 3:12 which says, “May the Lord make your love increase and overflow for each other and for everyone else, just as ours does for you.

A prayer that I wrote down on the 26^th as I laid down for bed (since, we have moved to House 2 where we will stay for 3 weeks):

Lord you are moving and it is so evident.  You have provided me with what my dream has been for so long; to live and take care of orphans.  It blows me away daily to know that I’m waking up to 19-orphaned children who just want to be loved.  I’m beyond thankful to be here. I pray for discernment and direction as well as peace and patience.  I also pray for my mind and especially my heart to remain focused on my purpose for being here.  Thank you for your amazing grace and love.

The kids in House 2:

Boys;                                       Girls:

Enock                                      Winnie

Remmy                                    Florence

Ambrose                                  Faith

Benja                                       Nyla

John                                         Sharon

Benard                                     Fiona

Eddy                                        Joan

Marvin                                     Josephine

Rosco                                       Janette

Solomon

My latest journal entry (because it’s easier to write down what I’ve journaled, but also leaving out the intimate things that only the Lord needs to know):

So many things, yet not one word…

Since I’ve arrived, just over a week ago, I’ve been in absolute awe of God’s beauty and faithfulness.  He has created Uganda to be an incredibly beautiful country and I’m so thankful to spend the summer, and maybe more, here.  I’ve grown close with the interns, the kids, and the staff here at the Sozo homes.  We are currently at House 2 and I love playing soccer with the boys.  We’ve had to learn to adapt to the culture of Uganda by being still.  As Americans we always want to be on the go, but culture requires us to slow down.  We’ve also learned to not get in the way or take control of day-to-day activities and obey the aunties and uncles just as the kids do.  We are here to help, not hurt, what is going on here.  Our view from this home is stunning.  It is like nothing I’ve ever seen and may in fact be one of the, if not the, most beautiful places I have ever been.  The peacefulness I’m able to experience while I’m here is unlike any other feeling I get in the US.  Paige said it so well yesterday: We don’t have different opportunities to be intimate with God while in Africa.  The Lord doesn’t see that we’ve traveled to Uganda and make Himself more prevalent.  He is the same yesterday, today, and forever, no matter where we are.  But in any case I’m so thankful for the feeling that I can grow closer to the Lord here.  I just pray that it will translate back to the US.  The Lord has given me so much already and He continues to bless me.  I read today Matthew 13:12 which says, “Whoever has will be given more, and he will have an abundance.”  Which fits perfectly with our family’s one word for this summer, which is Overflow.  The Lord has given, and will give more, and as long as we are faithful and praise Him for what He has given He will give more so we will have abundance.  As a family we all have the desire to overflow with the fruit of the Spirit.  We want the Lord to fill us up daily, but to the point that we overflow with His joy, love, and grace for the people of Uganda and the world.  I have been blessed with an incredible family here including Paige, Carli, Emma, and Michelle.  I’ve already been tested and have learned a lot about each person, which has given me the opportunity to grow and to lead in new ways.  I’m so thankful for the team the Lord has put together out of His sovereignty.  Thank you Father, you are so good and I give you complete control.

This is just a small glimpse of what has happened thus far since my journey to Uganda began.  I hope some of you can relate with these stories or be inspired or encouraged by my writings.  I know if that is the Lord’s desire then He will use this blog for His glory.  Thank you for taking the time to read and listen to my rambling about my life here.  Know that I miss you all; my family and friends wherever you may be.  I don’t get internet to communicate with people until this upcoming Saturday because we are fasting from the internet so we can remain still with the Lord and focus on our agenda here.  But know I want to talk to you all very soon.  I love you all.

17 days and counting...

It finally happened.
I've gotten so much to the nearness of my trip that I've started a countdown.
I can't believe I will be on a plane in less than three weeks.
Here comes Africa.

But before we start advancing towards Africa I wanted to fill you in on a few things that have happened since March 27th, my last post.  A few things that went on:

Granddad's 95th birthday celebration
Reunion in Atlanta with old friends
Easter
Lunch with extended family
Made new friends
Growth in relationships here
Continued work at Chili's
Sozo Children's Adventure Race
Continued preparation for the trip
Family Vacation to Martha's Vineyard (finished the first two Hunger Games)
Sozo Beach Retreat in Florida
And now back into the swing of things here in Birmingham with work and life altogether.

It has been a pretty eventful April and I'm very thankful for that.  I've had the joy and opportunity to see old friends, make new friends, and continue to invest in the relationships that I've already created.

I'm continuing to be challenged daily when it comes to trusting the Lord wholeheartedly.  A huge area in my life that I am inserting a lot of doubt is in support raising.  For some reason it's so difficult for me to trust that God will provide what I need to do His work.  If it is His calling on my life, He will get me there.  And what amazes me even more is that this isn't my first time to raise support and it isn't my first time to doubt God's ability.  Time and time again He provides and shatters any thought of doubt I have in my mind, and yet it all comes rushing back as soon as I get the opportunity to take another trip.

I've talked a lot more with my friend Kristen who is on the World Race, which is an 11 month mission trip to 11 different countries.  She is now, or about to be, on her final month, her final country.  She has been blown away by God's faithfulness and His desire to show everyone just how much His children are in a desperate need of saving.  It has been so encouraging to talk with her and hear how this trip has impacted her life and her heart for the world.  Clearly I understand that my trip will not be the exact same, seeing as I'm only going to one country and it's for 3 months, but I don't doubt at all that God will work in ways that I can't even begin to fathom.  I also just started reading a book about a husband and wife who were living out the corporate, "American Dream," and knew it wasn't enough so they sold everything and begin a ministry in Portugal, that has thus spread to many other countries, including Sudan, where she has been saving the many orphaned people from the constant war that has continued to take place.  This story has encouraged me and challenged me in ways I never thought it would.  It has me thinking a lot about, "Am I strong enough or bold enough to live in another country, even if it means being alone for extended periods of time?"  "Do I have the faith to trust the Lord in every step to move overseas?" "Will I have the courage to tell the unknowing about our Known and Living Savior?"  I don't have the answers to all of these, but I pray I will have them revealed to me at some point as I begin the journey of taking this trip and figuring out my life from there.

The ever-increasing challenge of what's next is always running through my head.  I don't have an answer yet, and the more time I spend in Birmingham the harder it gets.  I broke down a few weeks ago to my roommates, and I'm not sure if it's because I was so overwhelmed with decisions, or if I just hadn't cried in a while, but I couldn't contain my tears.  I spilled out all of my thoughts on life and what I constantly have going through my head.  I miss Wilmington and the people there more than you could imagine, and since I've moved here I've always wanted to move back after August.  But the more and more time I spend in Birmingham the more I've fallen in love with this organization and the people here.  I told them that I feel as if my heart is being ripped in half.  Half of my heart is still in Wilmington with the students from Scott's Hill and my friends there, but the other half is continually being rooted and established in love for these people here.  And I can't even imagine what my heart will do once I fall in love with those kids in Uganda.  I haven't decided anything yet, but I fully believe this summer will give me a ton of time to think and process through everything and I trust that the Lord will provide me with direction.

So Africa is 17 days away.  I'm constantly trying to prepare myself for this adventure, but really how much preparation can you do before you leap into the unknown for 3 months.  I'll be going to Uganda and my duties will consist of, working in each of the three orphanages Sozo now has, as well as working with a partner orphanage we have in the local slum in Kampala.  It has been really difficult to mute my excitement for the past couple of weeks because all I want to do is get on a plane and get over there to see these kids and give them the love they never had the joy of receiving from their parents.  But I know that I should be living in the present, not just looking towards the future.  So I'm working on getting all of the resources I will need together as well as continuing to try to make, the little amount of money I'm getting from Chili's, last before my final day of work.

I want to thank all of you for taking the time to read this lengthy blog and I hope in some way it encourages you to "seek the Lord with all your heart" and "lean not on your own understanding" of what may occur in the world, or in your own life.  He's got that under control.  Something I could use prayer for is continued financial support.  Even though I leave in less than three weeks I still have to finish raising my support even while I'm gone, so prayers that the Lord will provide and that I will trust Him with that would be incredible.

Last thing, something really cool happened a few weeks ago.  I received a letter from someone I didn't know and she wrote in the letter that she had read my blog.  She went on to say that through my blog of my life (victories and struggles) she was encouraged and felt the urge to give.  Inside the letter was a check to support my trip this summer.  God always provides, even in ways you would never imagine.  So may this story encourage you to fully hear what the Lord is pressing upon you and support those who need it.

"Stop trusting in man, who has but a breath in his nostrils."
                                                                Isaiah 2:22

"The Lord is gracious and compassionate, slow to anger and rich in love.  The Lord is good to all; he has compassion on all he has made.  All you have made will praise you, O Lord;"
                                                                Psalm 145:8-10

Carson

Never Truly Alone

It's been a long time since my last post and a lot has gone on...well in my eyes it has.

I've been working a lot more at Chili's, getting more shifts, with more responsibility, which allows more time at work and more tips. I'm really just trying to work a lot now so that I can save up my money so I'll have something to come back to when I get back in August.

I went "home," as I like to call it, to Wilmington last week for UNCW's spring break. Just about all of the Sozo staff were leaving to go on mission trips with college teams so I decided that I would take the week off of work and go spend some time with family and friends. Needless to say it was a phenomenal week. That place never ceases to amaze me. The weather was perfection. I spent so much time on the beach. I spent just about every day with one if not all of the youth from Scotts Hill. It was so good and refreshing to be around the students that have so deeply impacted my life over the past two and a half years. It stirred up a lot of emotions and thoughts in my heart about my future and what the Lord has in store. I talked to my roommate Allen about it today and how since I've been in Birmingham I've been able to spend more intimate time with the Lord than ever before, and I'm so thankful for that. Although I will admit that being alone has it's challenges I'm comforted knowing that I'm never truly alone and that my Creator is always living within me, alongside of me, and looking over me. So this intimate time has been a major period of growth along this journey the Lord has placed me on and I'm beyond grateful. But I told Allen, that no matter how much I learn about trust and no matter how much of that trust I place in God I will continue to ponder my future. Not seeking anything in particular, but just wondering. So this time in Wilmington stirred those thoughts up a little bit about what my future with Sozo looks like and what my future with Scotts Hill and/or youth looks like. But they're good thoughts. Allen returned with, "we want you to go where you feel like the Lord is leading you and we will support you in whatever you decide, but try to live out where you are now." And I couldn't agree more...just another way the Lord has provided for me...solid roommates who are chasing after God's heart.

So that being said, I'm more comfortable now doing things on my own. I went to two movies last week by myself. I love going to the park and reading or going in to coffee shops and journaling. This time alone gives me the opportunity to think, reflect, and truly engage in what it is the Lord is calling me to do throughout each day. I strongly encourage anyone who is reading this blog to set aside time if not daily, then weekly, to just be alone. It's challenging to find the time, but the reward is great. The Lord will show up and it allows you to rid yourself of the constant, day-to-day, rush of getting things done. You have time.

I've also been challenged a lot with not just setting an example in a worldly environment, but knowing what is the right time to share the Gospel. Because I fully believe that the Gospel should be shared as often as possible, because that is our mission, "make disciples of ALL nations...," and you do that by telling God's truth and sharing His Gospel. But my challenge is what is the balance between loving someone unconditionally with God's love and telling them that the way they are living their life isn't the way God intended. I'm continuing to pray about this timing as well as the confidence to trust the Lord that He will use my conversations, whatever they may be, to get His truth conveyed to each individual.

Lastly, the Lord teaches me daily new ways to be humble before Him and His people. And a major way that I am learning that is through the desire to feel needed. This goes along with loneliness, but to a different degree. The desire to feel wanted and needed are two different things in my opinion. When you are lonely you have the desire to be wanted by someone or something, in most cases. But when you are proud you have the desire to be needed. The Lord is teaching me that in most cases I'm not needed. I am a tool used by the Most High God in whatever way He has constructed for my life, but He will finish out His will one way or another, whether I'm involved or not. Thankfully I have been "holy, chosen, and loved..." by our God and I have the grace, mercy, and opportunity to be a part of His plan, but I'm not needed and I don't need to feel that I'm needed. This has been a big struggle, especially with the students back home. If the Lord wants and desires to place someone else who will lead these students to the point that they don't have the desire to call or update me on life, then I must trust that is the Lord's plan. He desires for these students to succeed in life by pursuing Him above all else and if that means for me to have been a stepping stone and for them to move on now, may I trust the Lord with that.

I ask for your prayers as I continue to live out my days here in Birmingham until I reach the time to leave for Uganda, that I will be attentive to the Lord. That I will be humbled by His astounding beauty and resounding presence. And that I will constantly fear Him and trust Him in every way He challenges me.

I thank each of you for taking the time to be a part of this journey. May the Lord bless you in your faithfulness.

"There is not a righteous man on earth who does what is right and never sins."

Ecclesiastes 7:20

"Fear God and keep his commandments, for this is the whole duty of man. For God will bring every deed into judgement, including every hidden thing, whether it is good or evil."

Ecclesiastes 12:13-14

Carson

Day by Day by Day

Life has continued since I last spoke with you, as you could've guessed.

Work at Chili's still happens.

Sozo preparation occurs constantly.

And my new Birmingham life is always developing into something new.

Before I get to Birmingham, let's start with Charlotte.

I went to Charlotte not this past weekend, but the weekend of the 17th and 18th to surprise the students of Scotts Hill as well as some of the staff members. They were having a retreat consisting of mission/volunteer work at a local church, going to Elevation for Church on Sunday and spending their afternoons and evenings at the Great Wolf Lodge, which was an experience in itself. Ryan was the only one who knew I was going to be there and then Matt found out when I was 10 minutes out. I can't even describe to you how good it was to see the faces of those guys and all the students and just spend some quality time with each of them. I was able to hear about how the Lord has been moving in their lives, but also how they are struggling and what they need prayer for. I was in a room with Ryan, Fletcher, Christian Peoples, Ari, and Christian Baker. STUDS. Incredible times of devotion, pouring out hearts, and completely tearing down walls occurred in the lives of most of those guys and even in Ryan and I. That is what brings me joy. To see the desire of those guys to know the Lord and seek Him above all else, even if that means giving up friendships and relationships that have lasted for years, was absolutely amazing and gave me so much encouragement for the outlook of their lives. The weekend ended and we parted ways, but not before I was able to stay up until 3am the night before and pray and cry and love on those kids with all of my heart. I couldn't have asked for a more perfect glimpse of Wilmington and Scotts Hill. The Lord is FAITHFUL and GOOD.

We focused on Psalm 119:11 which says,

"I have hidden your word in my heart that I might not sin against you."

And the chapter of Psalm 56, which part of it says,

"When I am afraid,

I will trust in you.

In God, whose word I praise,

in God I trust; I will not be afraid.

What can mortal man do to me?"

When I think about the kids of Scotts Hill I can't help but think of Philippians 1:3-12,

"I thank my God every time I remember you. In all my prayers for all of you, I always pray with joy because of your partnership in the gospel from the first day until now, being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus. It is right for me to feel this way about all of you, since I have you in my heart; for whether I am in chains or defending and confirming the gospel, all of you share in God's grace with me. God can testify how I long for all of you with the affection of Christ Jesus. And this is my prayer: that your love may abound more in knowledge and depth of insight, so that you may be able to discern what is best and may be pure and blameless until the day of Christ, filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ - to the glory and praise of God. Now I want you to know, brothers, that what has happened to me has really served to advance the gospel."

Since then I've been in Birmingham, offering every day to the Lord and asking Him to move in ways that I cannot imagine. Each day is unique and even when I feel stagnant or complacent the Lord reveals that He IS moving and that I can trust in Him with all of me. I work about 5 or 6 days a week depending on scheduling at Chili's and go over to the Sozo office in my spare time to prepare things for upcoming Spring Break trips and our summer adventures. I just set out about 60 or 70 letters asking friends and family for support. If you are reading this and you didn't receive a letter, please forgive me, there were only so many address I knew. But I ask you to please be praying for me and my team here at Sozo. We are all suffering our own forms of spiritual warfare as we get closer and closer to our journey and it's actually sort of humorous to see the enemy try and tear us down for the good that we are putting forth for the Kingdom. He tries so many different ways to weasel himself into our lives and workplaces and with the help of the Lord, he fails over and over again.

If you would like to send support to our team here at Sozo you can mail it to:

Sozo Children

P. O. Box 382586

Birmingham, AL 35238

and write what you want your support to go to in the MEMO line. Thank you.

But back to Birmingham...I've grown closer to my roommates and some of the other members of the Sozo staff and it's been incredible to see the love the Lord has placed in my heart for the people here. Although I've only known most of them for only a month the Lord continues to pour out His love in my heart for them. I think it's because we all seem to have the same calling and desires on our hearts; to save the lost children of this world from a life of loneliness and shame and introduce them to a life of grace and freedom.

This past weekend I went to Atlanta, GA to visit my good friends Jordan and Alex Sasser. I went to college with Jordan at UNCW and we were roommates for a year. They got married over the summer and moved to Atlanta and have thus started a life full of God's joy and sacrifice for one another. It's a beautiful thing to watch and I'm so thankful to have had the opportunity to spend the weekend with them and go to Passion City Church on Sunday, and also on Monday night for the launch of the #72daysforfreedom awareness campaign they are putting in place. Passion has committed to taking action and doing something now to end modern day slavery that is taking place all over the world. There are now over 27 million slaves on this planet, which is more than has ever existed. period. I watched the Christine Caine message this morning actually and was blown away by her passion for saving lives and ending such a tremendous tragedy that is constantly occurring. It gives me the desire to embark on a mission and stop hiding behind my comfort and possessions.

She used John 17:15-19 in her message which says,

"My prayer is not that you take them out of the world but that you protect them from the evil one. They are not of the world, even as I am not of it. Sanctify them by the truth; your word is truth. As you sent me into the world, I have sent them into the world. For them I sanctify myself, that they too may be truly sanctified."

Which I don't know if I've heard this and just wasn't moved by it, but this scripture hits my core. Jesus has sent us into this world because we are not of this world and we are to be used to reach the darkness and be the light. I loved the story she used about her daughter not being able to see the light from her flashlight in a lighted room. She asked her mom if they could go find some darkness. That is what we should be doing. Seeking out the darkness of this broken world and bring the light that Jesus Christ has given us into it.

I thank you all for taking the time to read what is going on in my life and praying for me and my team. It means a lot. You will be blessed for your goodness to His family.

Faith Tested...Confirmation Recieved

It’s been two weeks in Birmingham now and every step has been one of faith. I’ve questioned the Lord and His plan for my life every day I have been here and each and every time He responds with confirmation that I am exactly where I need to be. For example, last week I was getting really nervous that I wouldn’t be able to find a part time job while I was here for 3 months before I left for Uganda. So I went out one day to look for jobs and the 2^nd place I went to hired me on the spot, without any “in-restaurant” experience I might add, and with the knowledge that I would be leaving in three months for Africa for three months. It was as if the Lord put a silver platter right in front of my nose waiting for me to get a whiff of it.

Not only has God been providing answers to my many doubts and questions, but He has surrounded me with people who love me and that I’m able to love. I’ve had the opportunity to spend some quality time getting to know the staff of Sozo and we just had a retreat this past weekend for all of the summer interns who are going to Uganda. We went up to SIFAT (Servants in Faith and Technology) where they take the knowledge they have and the knowledge of leaders from third world countries and have conferences and seminars that teach these leaders to provide for their communities using very basic and easily accessible resources. For example, they teach them how to use clay that they live on to build an oven that they can cook with. It was really awesome to learn about the connections they are making with people across the world and see how they deeply care about this world and the nations of it. We spent a lot of time doing team building and leadership exercises. It was a great opportunity to see each aspect of our soon to be team and have the chance to bond with one another.

Besides that life is good. I'm trying desperately to stay in touch with my friends and students from back home in Wilmington as well as with my family. I miss them a lot, but trust that if the Lord wants us to meet again, we will. I've been blessed tremendously with an amazing family, friend group, and group of students that I can love on and I'm beyond thankful for them. I pray daily for them as they continue life without me and fully believe that the Lord is doing incredible works in their lives.

It's a little different right now because the Sozo staff is in North Carolina, ironically, for a dinner fundraiser in Winston Salem. I couldn't go because of my new job at Chili's, but this has given me a premium opportunity to be impacted by the Lord with the One Word He has given me for the year, stillness. I've been able to be still and truly hear the Lord speaking into me and my life. I hope and pray that I'm able to be truly impacted by this word as this year progresses and I'm thankful the Lord has already given me opportunities to practice it. Thank you Father.

I look forward to the coming month ahead of planning and preparation for our journey. We've been spending a lot of time getting things together, but as of right now we are working from the home of Suzanne who is one of the founders of Sozo. She is married with a daughter still in high school and it's starting to get a little tough for 8 to 10 people to be working out of her dining room with her family there as well. All that to say we are desperately looking for an office building so that is something we are praying about. We are actually looking in to moving into a former Bahama Breeze (restaurant) building. It's full of open deck space that would be perfect for concert venues and fundraisers as well as opening a coffee shop to raise funds for our homes. We are still praying through it and awaiting the Lord's provision for this area of Sozo. I hope this informed you all a little bit as to what is going on in Birmingham. Thank you for your prayers. I love you all.